MY STORY

I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT STRESS WAS

I was working in a new job with more responsibility, a bit out my depth. Driving up to two hours in peak traffic. There was no time in the day to stop or rest, always rushing from one thing to the next. 

I wasn’t sleeping at night, waking up and not getting back to sleep. Constantly looking at the clock till the alarm would go off. This went on for weeks. Lack of sleep was making me edgy and tired. And sometimes there would be a tightness in my chest and things felt surreal. I didn’t feel like being around others, so I was isolating myself.

I didn’t understand what was happening. I felt stuck and overwhelmed.

One night I had a panic attack, while driving. I blacked out. Luckily I got to the side of the road. I was freaked out and the days after were filled with high anxiety.

I remember the exact moment something had to change

I’d taken a long walk along the waterfront near where I lived. I stopped and stared out over the water, thinking about my life. I had the thought ‘If this going to be my life, I don’t want to live this way.’

And that was a scary thought - not wanting to live.

FINDING MEDITATION

I decided to try yoga and meditation. At first I wasn’t sure if this was what I needed. It was a little weird as I’d never heard of it (it wasn’t huge in 2000). At the first few classes I noticed it was really difficult to relax and be still. My mind was racing so much.

But after a few weeks I noticed how good I felt after class. So I started to practice meditation at home.

I began to feel empowered by the steps I was taking. I started to feel calmer. I felt clearer. I slept through the night a few times in a row. I felt more relaxed and happier in myself. My friends said the old me was coming back!

So I kept doing it and things slowly came back into balance.